You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.
"I am your butter and your bread. The voice that's in your head.
I'll take you in and fill you up with a lack of being fed" -Ana
You have to believe in yourself. And you have to down deep within the bottom of your soul, feel that you can do the job that you've set out to do.
An ordinary girl, an ordinary waist – but ordinary's just not good enough today
Quod Me Netruit Me Destruit
''I had convinced myself that I wasn't pro-ana, but deep down, I knew I was,''
Sacrifice is giving up something good for something better
The beginning is always today
If you can dream it, you can do it
Never let your memories be greater than your dreams!
It doesn't matter how slowly you go...as long as you don't stop
Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible!
I don't care if it hurts, I want to have control,
I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul.
In life, you learn that obstacles really don't matter that much. Pain or other circumstances can be there, but if you want to do something bad enough, you'll find a way to get it done.
Our patience will achieve more than our force
It is the mind that makes the body
Our greatest glory comes not in never falling,
but in rising every time we fall.
Happy or sad, rich or poor, it's better being thin.
What's in your fingers today is on your hips tomorrow!
Thin has a taste all its own
Calories can’t make you happy
I don't take the first little bite;
I don't begin. I have no problem
Every time you say "No Thank you", You say "Yes Please" to Thin
Eat to live, but don't live to eat
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams
Live the life you've imagined
A person needs to be loved the most when he deserves to be loved the least.
One decision may seem of little importance, but each decision helps to build character which is the sum total of decisions which one makes for oneself. Collectively, the decisions of many people will determine the strength of world forces that will be set in motion.
EVERY effort on our part, however feeble it may seem, helps or hinders progress by just so much. One word, one deed, one minute, or one decision may seem inconsequential,
yet every one of them counts.
My only hope is that I am slowly dying. My only wish is that it would happen sooner .
"People don't see me. No one sees me. It's like being fat.
No one takes you seriously.
You just don't exist - you're so big, you're not even there."
"you will be tempted quite frequently, and you will have to choose whether you will enjoy your self hugely in the twenty minutes or so that you will be consuming the excess calories, or whether you will dislike yourself cordially for two or three days, for your lack of willpower"
"It wasn’t simply that I chose not to eat I was forbidden to. Even thinking about forbidden foods brought punishment. . . . How dare you, this voice inside me would say. You greedy pig. And I was grateful to have someone from hurting. Making me respect myself. Hunger, I thought, is a
minuscule price to pay. To be thin, no price is too high. The sky’s the limit."
"Food is a hindrance to your progress"
"Don't do anything today that you'll regret tomorrow"
"Like a plant, surely, the body can be trained to exist on nothing ~
to take it's nourishment from the air"
"I have a rule when I weigh myself if I've gained, I starve for the rest of the day. But if I've lost, I starve too"
" Nothing is so bad that not eating won't cure"
"Lose everything and what is real will still remain "You've made a decision: you will NOT stop. The pain is necessary, especially the pain of hunger. It reassures you that you are strong, can withstand anything, that you are NOT a slave to your body, that you don't have to give in to it's whining"
I've freed myself from this compulsion of eating. When I wake, I am empty, light, light-headed I like to stay this way, free and pure, light on my feet, traveling light. For me, food's only interest lies in how little I need, how strong I am, how well I can resist - each time achieving another small victory of the will: one carrot instead of two, half a cracker, no more peas. Each gain makes me stronger, purer, larger in my exercise of power, until eventually I see no reason to eat at all"
"You can learn to love anything, I think, if you need to badly enough. I trained myself to enjoy feeling hungry. If my stomach contracts, or I wake up feeling nauseated, or I’m light-headed, or I have a hunger headache, or better yet, all of the above, it means I’m getting thinner. So it feels good. I feel strong, on top of myself. In control. Thanks to the dictator."
"The difference between want and need is self control."
"Sometimes I even felt I was cheating when someone praised me for my willpower; they don’t know I have a little dictator inside forcing me."
Once I set my heart on something, I just won’t quit until I get it.
Even if it starts looking like the wrong thing to go after, you know?
I don’t stop to question it; I just go for it, figuring once I’ve got it, I’ll worry about the rest.
How many pounds till I’m happy, how many pounds till I’m thin?
Three more pounds till I’m skinny, three more pounds and I win!
Nothing, nothing’s wrong, and asking is against the rules. Crying is against the rules too. Your strong, don’t let them break you. They’re trying to destroy you. My head is like a little courtroom. I’m the accused, the defendant, the attorney for the defense, the prosecuting attorney and the judge is a great big scale
"I hear horror stories about girls who don't eat-how their hair turns white and their gums bleed. But I feel beautiful, perfect. I am all pale bone and bone - pale flesh and pale hair and I am light. I am like some fairy thing. I dream about fairies dancing around the house with rib cages showing like baskets under their flesh. I could drift up and away from here. I am so light. Bound by nothing. Not even time. And I am pure now."
"They always say they are concerned about me, about my health, when all the want to do is pin me down and force-feed me: with lies, with what they call love. Like prisoners everywhere, all I have left is the power to refuse"
"I see myself very clearly. Somewhere between fat and thin, but not yet perfect"
A researcher asked women what three words they like most to hear.
- Instead of the expected answer-
'I love you'
the consensus was
'You've lost weight'.
''I had convinced myself that I wasn't pro-ana, but deep down, I knew I was,''
"We're prisoners. Prisoners! That's right. We're prisoner of our taste buds".
"An imperfect body reflects an imperfect person"
"I'm not starving myself... I'm perfecting my emptiness"
"DON'T eat, do you *want* to stay FAT?"
"One day I will be thin enough. Just the bones, no disfiguring flesh. Just the pure, clear shape of me. Bones. That is, after all, what we're made up of, and everything else is just storage, deposit, waste. Strip it away, use it up. No deposit, no return"
"Let your bones define the beauty of your body "
It is possible to fail in many ways...while to succeed is possible only in one way.
To be nobody-but-yourself -- in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else--means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.
--E. E. Cummings
We are only so unhappy because we insist on believing that the whole reason of life is happiness.
And so I went through the looking glass, stepped into the netherworld, where up is down and food is greed, where convex mirrors cover the walls, where death is honor and flesh is weak. It is ever so easy to go. Harder to find your way back.
The body is no more than a costume, and can be changed at will. That the change of bodies, like costumes, would make me into a different character, a character who might, finally, be alright.
You will discover that there will be good days, and there will be bad days.
For you, for me, and for everyone else. You are never alone.
"I seek strength not to be greater than my brother, but to fight my greatest enemy--myself."
The road to success is always under construction.
It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.
''I take it one day at a time, there are still days that I just want to die. That is my depression talking. Once I get off the couch and start doing something, I'm fine.''
''Any little thing that isn't in my routine throws me off. I go back to what is comfortable, which is the anorexia. When I'm all lost in life without a map, I'm going back to what I know.''
"The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.
We are indeed much more than what we eat, but what we eat can nevertheless help us to be much more than what we are - Anna Maxted, Running in Heels
I wrestle with the thoughts, but they are too fiery to crush. "I don't want to be average," I snarl. "I can't think of anything worse. I-I hate average. Who wants to be *mediocre*? It would be the worst. Who in the world is sad enough to be satisfied with that.
Fat is fat. There is nothing in the Western world - apart from pedophiles and murderers - quite so reviled as a fat woman. Except a fat woman talking with her mouth full. Fat is poor. Fat is stupid, greedy, indulgent and disgusting.
... but as Liz Hurley once said - if I was as fat as Marilyn Monroe, I'd kill myself.
"I want a body with sharp edges" I say after a while, because she won't let me wriggle out of an answer. "Sometimes I am hungry. I'm always hungry. But when I don't eat I feel good. Pure. I feel empty and it's wonderful. I feel so powerful. Like I could fly."
I'm in the dock for not clearing my plate and we're looking at a life sentence.
I feel bloated, huge, disgusting, ugly, a monstrous lumbering sow of a woman, a greedy revolting red-faced creature, and every bite, I feel myself swelling, I'm punished for breaking the first commandment, don't eat more than a small bird because it's unladylike and you'll get fat and no one will like you, but it's too late, I can feel the sharpness of my cheekbones sinking, swamped under spongy bulges of flesh, my thighs spreading like warm lard and sticking together, so it's much safer not to eat.
Sometimes a smile can hide so much pain
I'm scared to show the emotion that flows in every heart pumped vein
I want to cry and scream out loud in a filled room
Yet I don't want anyone to hear me
Fill the sound waves with the woes of my doom
There's nothing I can do
Just sit and cry
My emotions make me want to die
Good intentions are essential, but in themselves they are not powerful enough to make you the kind of person you ought to be. The intent to be good and kind, honest, generous and forbearing are the fruits of an inner strength. The power to exhibit these virtues, these fruits, comes from the nature of the tree or of the person. There is only one way to insure good fruit and that is to make the tree good.
There's a hidden sweetness in the stomach's emptiness.
We are lutes, no more, no less. If the soundbox
is stuffed full of anything, no music.
If the brain and the belly are burning clean
with fasting, every moment a new song comes out of the fire.
The fog clears, and new energy makes you
run up the steps in front of you.
Be emptier and cry like reed instruments cry.
Emptier, write secrets with the reed pen.
When you're full of food and drink, an ugly metal
statue sits where your spirit should. When you fast,
good habits gather like friends who want to help.
Fasting is Solomon's ring. Don't give it
to some illusion and lose your power,
but even if you have, if you've lost all will and control,
they come back when you fast, like soldiers appearing
out of the ground, pennants flying above them.
~Rumi
"This is forever. I will do whatever it takes. I want to be thin more than anything, even food... "
Nothing tastes as good as thin feels!
|
01. Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.
02. Time spent wasting is not wasted time.
03. Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.
04. A moment on the lips, forever on the hips.
05. Thinner is the winner.
06. You can never be too rich or too thin.
07. Hunger hurts but starving works.
08. The flat stomach is nice, but a concave one is perfect.
09. You will be tempted quite frequently. You will have to choose whether to enjoy yourself wholly for those 20 minutes or so that you will be consuming excess calories, or whether you will despise yourself cordially for the next three days.
10. Eat to live, but don't live to eat.
11. Quod me nutrit, me destruit (What nourishes me, also destroys me.)
12. Most women live their lives in a state of starvation. Why should I be any different?
13. It's simple: You decide once and for all that you aren't going to eat, and there are no further decisions to make.
14. In the body, as in sculpture, perfection is attained not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
15. It's not deprivation, it's liberation.
16. Being normal is over rated.
17. Food is like art, to be looked at not eaten.
18. Every time you say no thank you to food, you say yes please to thin.
19. You have a choice to make, do you want to be "Normal" and overweight like the rest of the world, Or do you want to be unique and be that girl every overweight person wants to be? It's all up to you.
20. I do eat normally: only what is needful for survival. I can't help it that we live in a piggish society where gluttony is the norm, and everyone else is constantly stuffing themselves.
21. Think higher of yourself, your too good to put that in your body.
22. Anorexia is not a self-inflicted disease, it's a self-controlled lifestyle.
23. When I wake, I'm empty, light-headed. I like to stay this way, free and pure, light on my feet, traveling light. For me, food's only interest lies in how little I need, how strong I am, how well I can resist, each time achieving another small victory of the will.
24. The difference between want and need is self control.
25. I’ve come too far to take orders from a cookie.
26. They always say they're concerned with me, about my health, when all they want to do is control me. They want to pin me down and force-feed me with lies, with what they call love.
27. The greasy fry, it cannot lie, its truth is written on your thigh.
28. They say I could die if I get to thin and I tell them I Could die getting to fat also. The difference is dieing thin is a challenge and I am not one to give up one a challenge.
29. We are prisoners of our taste buds - BREAK FREE!
30. I want my collarbones and hips to be as sharp as my mind.
31. You can learn to love anything I think, if you need to badly enough. I trained myself to enjoy feeling hungry. If my stomach contracts, or I wake up feeling nauseated, or I'm light-headed, or have a hunger headache or better yet, all of the above, it means I'm getting thinner, if feels good. I feel strong, on top of myself, in control.
32. Denying yourself food is not true deprivation - never being thin is.
33. There is no try, there is only DO.
34. I have a rule when I weigh myself. If I've gained then I starve the rest of the day. But if I've lost, then I starve too.
35. Re-measure, reweigh, try harder.
36. Your body is the baggage you must carry through life. The more excess baggage the shorter the trip.
37. You have such a pretty face, why don't you try dieting?
38. Pain is temporary; Pride is forever.
39. An imperfect body reflects an imperfect person.
40. Don't give up what you want most for what you want at the moment.
41. I'm a teenage drama queen, I'll throw my guts up for self esteem.
42. Empty is pure, starving is the cure.
43. Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
44. Like a plant, surely the body can be trained to exist on nothing, to take it's nourishment from the air.
45. Feed the soul; let the body fast.
46. If you close your mouth to food, you can know a sweeter taste.
47. The less I swallowed, the more I declined, the more I hope to pare things down to the essentials.
48. The more they give me, the less I'll eat.
49. Eat less, weigh less.
50. Thin has a taste all its own.
51. Happy or sad, rich or poor, it's better being thin.
52. I don't care if it hurts, I want to have control, I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul.
53. If it tastes good, It's trying to kill you.
54. An ordinary girl, an ordinary waist – but ordinary's just not good enough today.
55. The word is control. That's my ultimate - to have control.
56. "I am your butter and your bread. The voice that's in your head. I'll take you in and fill you up with a lack of being fed" -Ana
57. I want to be the smallest I can possibly be...when I see bone, that's the day I will finally feel free...
58. I'm not yet a winner. I could be thinner. So I must go throw up dinner.
59. Giving in to food shows weakness, be strong and you will be better than everyone else.
60. I'm not starving myself. I'm perfecting my emptiness.
61. I, the hunger artist, rarely disappoint my audience.
62. How many pounds till I am happy? How many pounds till I get thin? Three more pounds till I am skinny, three more pounds and I win!
63. Anorexia is not a disease. Anorexia is not a game. Anorexia is a skill, perfected only by a few. The chosen, the pure, the flawless.
64. Anorexia is like a game; you play, you win, and then it's over. Or you keep playing.
65. Nothing. Nothing is wrong. And asking is against the rules. Crying is against the rules. Your strong, don't let them break you. They're trying to destroy you.
66. When it comes to losing weight, those who can do; those that can make excuses.
67. Don't eat. If you want to see food, look in the mirror at your thighs.
68. What's in your fingers today is on your hips tomorrow.
69. The only freedom left is the freedom to starve.
70. You are what you eat.
71. Good habits result from resisting temptation.
72. There are admirable potentialities in every human being. Believe in your strength and your youth. Learn to repeat endlessly to yourself, 'It all depends on me'.
73. Food is the most primitive form of comfort.
74. Act as if it were impossible to fail.
75. Blessed are the starving, for they shall teach us not to want.
76. You want food? Look at those THIGHS!
77. Fridge pickers wear big knickers.
78. Don't eat anything today that you'll regret tomorrow.
79. Craving is only a feeling.
80. Bones define who we really are, let them show
|
